I have been facilitating an IFS group for queer folks for four terms now. Before this, I had done some group therapy facilitation in the past but never with a particular affinity group. We talk about affinity groups in IFS as a way to form groups that feel like safe community. As a queer person, it felt important to me to have a group that was full of queer folks like me. And one of the incredible strengths of queer people is our ability to build community. Not every discussion is about our queerness. Participants share about their lives in entirety. But there is a shared understand and connection through our queerness.

I have been in awe at the healing that people have found through this group experience. Many of the participants are folks that I have also worked with individually. But they are able to find even more healing while in the group setting. Groups can be very intimidating and that vulnerability can be scary. But when a group is done well, it can be a place of shared Self-energy where more healing is possible. Hearing others validating each other and sharing what resonated with them can be powerful. And so can simply having a group of connected people sit in silence and hold that Self-energy for you.

At the end of our last term, we practiced something that we usually do at the end. I asked participants to share Self-led feedback for each other to practice giving and receiving feedback in a safe environment. It is one of my favourite exercises that we do. I love hearing about how everyone impacted each other and it is so touching for participants to receive that feedback. This session I decided to be brave and ask for feedback for myself. There was a part of me that felt strange asking for participants to say nice things about me. But I was honestly open to hearing the good and the bad from the group. One of the best compliments I received was about how I am gifted at creating community. As someone who spent years seeking community like many queer folks, it felt incredible to hear that I had been able to create the community that I had been seeking.

I know that this community may have been started by me, but it is a testament to every participant that this is a safe space for healing and growth. I am so honoured that people trust me enough to join in on this community. And that each participant helps to grow that safety with every smile, nod, or validation. I know that group therapy can be scary, but when done right it can be a wonderfully healing experience.